Reginald Walker: A Poet
BLACK ROBED THUG
I've never been a fighter that fought blindly....
you could find me where the bigger picture is in HD....
magnified intensely by a vision that's all me....
with a monologue that is always spoken passionately...
emotions stir as you listen intently...
my story is one that you feel, if you ask me.....
I didn't steal billions from the poor to line my own pockets....
my war crimes doesn't involve ballistic rockets....
murder is not the charge, death I did not cause....
I was not not involved in robberies, car jackings, nor assaults....
but 24 to 40 is still my sentence....
that the courts is content for me to live with....
even after ruling that my trial judge was bias....
they still say my trial was fair and I deserve prison....
the definition of fair does not vary...
to tell a naive jury that I'm guilty....
my defense is false, and attack my credibility....
now I ask, how is that being judged fairly....
being doubled teamed by the judge and prosecution....
is not a fair trial, its purely retribution....
for a crime that they feel I am guilty of....
I was not judged by my peers, but by a black robed thug…
BLACK ROBED THUG PT. 2
why do you want my truth if you don't care?......
upset because I dare to stand tall, eye contact, I stare....
articulate and speak these words as if I know something....
but I'm locked up like scum, in your mind I know nothing....
you're the judge and jury, even if I ask for 12....
forming opinions, hatred, and disdain as well...
stained my name in the presence of the selected 12.....
while the court of appeals just say "oh well"....
your influence outweigh anything I'll pull out the air...
telling the jury I'm a lying drug dealer, and that's fair?.....
my trial was a mockery of the judiciary you love....
overseen by a black robed bias thug....
the court of appeals stated you're bias, not just me....
but they sat back and chose not to do a thing....
purposely applying laws incorrectly to deny me...
in order to protect their biased black robed buddy...
in Michigan, the state that I love....
where police, mayors, Congress and even judges are thugs....
where my transgressions are not theirs, so I'm judged harshly....
but their transgressions are worse, how could they judge me?......
LIL' LADY
They say 24 to 40 years, I'm paying for my crime....
They don't care, to raise my daughter, im paying for the time.....
Trying to convey life lessons in a phone sessions....
two 15 minute calls is a damn blessing....
reckless in my thoughts when the pressure builds....
because our conversation shows she needs her father still...
bothered by her revelations, but don't let on....
and the tone of her voice tells me she wants me home...
I see she seeks to provoke emotions with her words...
so I oblige her to show that she's still my girl...
irate for a moment, but not really...
then our conversation turns into something silly....
A couple quick word jabs, I taught her that...
mostly playful, sprinkled with a little fact....
looking for a way to speak honestly....
with a serious tone, I say "you can tell me anything"...
With that said, she tells me about a boy she likes....
and I find myself instantly wanting to fight....
but I stay calm and minimize the third degree....
and asked if she remembers life lessons taught by me....
she stated her value and worth out the gate...
she's the one right thing from a life of mistakes...
She asks a serious question and I answer honestly....
all while enforcing the fact that she's a Queen....
leaving that subject, she brings up school....
knowing her success is my one biggest rule...
one of our last sessions, she wasn't doing too well...
conveying that zoom classes was equivalent to hell...
taking initiative, she contacted her instructor...
asking what can she do to help her help her...
this put a smile on my face that I couldn't suppress...
and relieved me of a lot of unnecessary stress....
we talk about her birthday, which is months away...
she'll be 16 on that special day...
I didn't ask what she wanted, because she'll say me....
so I made sure to talk about superficial things....
one minute til the call ends, tone change....
and I tell lil lady I love her, she reply the same...
MAMA
"OG" Speak even if they want me to hold my tongue....
stubborn I must be even if they hold the gun...
hold it son, let them see your empty hands..
because they're killing boys in the street, not just men...
I've grown into a conscious mind for the sake of my mom...
because she said to bury me would lessen her life line...
but what I see, I don't like, I must speak....
and this cause me to abandon my nature of humble and meek...
going to war to destroy a rotten core....
to obey my mother my strategy is contour...
telling my mother, for the cause, I am a martyr...
Sincerely she says no, you're a son, brother and father...
trying to make her understand that this fight is part mines...
while she's telling me if I'm harmed her heart dies...
its unlimited what I am willing to risk...
I have to be understood, not speak as if I have a lisp...
she says the loudest voice isn't always the smartest...
plus I could do more if I wasn't their target...
I use to think that she want me to fade in the back....
but she was creating a king that could lead the pack...
so now I sit back and strategize my every move...
while being level headed and keeping my cool...
And I promise you mama, I'm going to change the world...
and I'm going to dedicate it all to my old girl....
SINS OF A FATHER
I raise strong women, I know nothing else.....
beautiful, intelligent, and willing to help.....
I uplift every woman because the further is them.....
so I will never condone disrespect from him.....
I have a daughter, nieces, sisters and a mother......
so for a woman's honor I'll go to war with my brother.....
I plow pathways of success for a woman to walk on....
then lay the softest of rugs that leads to her throne....
the world breaks them down, so I build them up.....
telling them that they're beautiful has never been enough.....
so I instill in them value, let them know their worth.....
so the unworthy will never make them hurt.....
I teach women, I know nothing else....
because without women I would not be who I am....
I understand their eagerness to learn and be accepted...
and how fraudulent love will leave them affected....
so the knowledge of men is a lesson to learn....
while remembering their worth and staying firm......
their motherly instincts and sincere compassion....
is worn on their sleeve as if it were fashion.....
to keep them from compromising all that they are....
I give women an insight of a true man's heart.....
a provider, protector, lover with loyalty.....
strength for family and everything else a man should be....
women taught me, so I know nothing else.....
women loved and raised me not to only think of myself....
so I thank Shirley, Rita, Yvon,and Lilly..... Salina, Jo, Sandra, Marla and Tammy....
Shones, Jeanna, and Genet if they only knew....
the impact their love and trust had on me too.....
because of them I am wise and also bothered.....
because I know now, the daughter pays for the sins of her father.....
GAME OVER
I smile often, more than they think I should.....
maybe because I'm doing what they didn't think I could....
shock on their face lifts up my spirits....
I'm proof that all black men are not ignorant.....
they're wondering why I have been so emboldened.....
not knowing that I speak the language they thought was coded....
average isn't an option when I start something.....
me being meek doesn't mean that I know nothing....
patience is a virtue, I play the long game....
check mate is seen before I move my Queen....
I play my opponent, the game is secondary.....
their arrogance shows that they underestimate me.....
so I let them speak in a manner that God wouldn't approve.....
then sincerely compliment their game after they lose......
their oath means nothing when their pride is on the line....
integrity is gone, they rely on lies.....
my humbleness continues without a thought of malice....
because I know that my God given gift is pure magic.....
I inhale deeply, taking in life....
the bad with the good, the wrong with the right....
I know who I am and the strength that I bring.....
so encourage them to lie, cheat and bring a whole team....
victory is mine when I face their kind....
because they never thought that they'll give me their time....
they never thought we'll meet face to face....
that day they realized there's no inferior race......
so victory is mine at their point of confusion.....
because they realized that they lose, not just losing.....
COMPANY WE ALL KEEP
Easy these thoughts come to me.... moon over the sun, father is not the son.... to appease me they agree with me.... I could jumble the jungle, turning predator into prey.... and to them this would be a normal day.... yes men, what can I say, they play the game.... spineless in nature, snakes are the same.... forming theories in order to tip scales.... hell, its not on them if it all fails..... their life jacket still float if there's no boat.... find a new religion if the old one gives no hope.... I'll quote a lie, they'll spread it as truth.... ships sink because their lips are loose.... "I knew" is a hindsight statement.... of a broke men with high life payments.... the night life take me.... to dark places where they love and hate me..... its confusing dealing with Geminis at every turn.... sneaky eyes, hand shake firm.... I learned that blunt ashes fills urns.... and friends are both real til its one of their turn.... harm come to the innocent with good intentions.... at the same rate a knife accompanies well wishes.... cheek kisses are as sweet a ghost peppers.... ex friends spell their intentions with no letters.... just listen, they're telling you who they are.... and trust me, you can't throw them vary far... a mistake is a snapshot of their true nature.... over looking it is not contributed to stature.... so I ask, who do you cherish and lock in your heart.... sometimes to see the light you, yourself, have to go dark...
REMEMBER YOU
fighting inner demons, haunted by past trauma...scabs from self inflicted scars and unseen Karma... screaming for help, but I am never heard...trying to get the world to see that I forever hurt...murdering who I am, for who I want to be...that means murderous tendency for those who comforts me...Hurt people hurt people, or so they say...is probably why I hurt those who I need and crave... "I'm sorry" I should say, but instead I lash out..I can't get myself off of this unbearable bad route..but I love the attention given to newly created me...even at the expense of everything I use to be?...losing that special thing that made me who I am.. at times I look in the mirror and don't recognize him...he look afraid of who I become, disguised at times..which make me feel judged like when I use to have to hide..so I fight against my old life for the one I think I need..knowing that my new life could care less if I hurt and bleed..if love is pain than this should make them love me..but that is only true if my new life knew me..so its a lose lose if I kill the old me for the new me..especially because I will forever remember who I use to be..
UNNAMED
I believe in me, that's why I succeed.... I realized that its me who I have to please.... to live with myself is something I have to do.... and the conversation in my head must always be true..... I can lie to the world while they stare into my eyes.... but the lie is no longer true when I tell this guy....so to tell the world that Im perfect, I must be....because anything less, myself will expose me.... I practice as if I'll gain perfection.... but its still just me when I see that reflection..... I'm told by many how great I am.... but I wonder who do they see and am I him.... I touched so many lives just by being me.... but also, so many people hurt from me being dean.... so while I'm being praised, dean must repent.... for give him lord, for we have sinned…
UNNAMED
we traveled harrant's underground, the green book showed us where to lay... tells of strange fruits, backdoors to get on stage.... got spit on trying to get on with our day..... because of skin color, looked at like we're from space..... king marched and gave a speech about his dream.... Malcolm felt an eye for an eye, than we'll be seen.... Rosa park sat to stand for something.... nat turner was more aggressive in his pursuit for Justice..... because of John lewis, freedom that was lost is now found.... we don't want our freedom gradually, we want it now.... thurgood did more then assist in the fight.... he was in the courts and the streets for our civil rights.... Sammy Davis Jr.co-created the image awards... to celebrate blacks, and their greatness of course...... number 42 made history with a bat and a ball.... Jacky Robinson was beat down and still stood tall.... Frederick Douglass wrote poetry, books and plays.... used entertainment, putting the truth In their face... the thirteenth amendment is not our emancipation.... our freedom was not given it was taken... fought for and won, worked for and earned.... they think we're done, its the new generation turn....
I LOVE DEEP
I love deep, oceans are shallow compared to my beating heart...sharp is arrows exiting bows in perfect dark...sharpen on limestone to infuse citrus flavor... inflame the wounds so the memory will be forever savored...hurt heart is a phrase to downplay the pain... symbolic, cupid with sharp arrows and perfect aim...is the perfect poetry for a aching heart...as it exit the bottom after entering the arch..I love deep,the sea barely can bathe my heart...swallowing hard so the words don't get caught...I love you, meaningless words without sincerity...so I drift on cloud 9 and let those words carry me...I cling on for dear life to survive nights...forgetting the world's wrongs if the love is right...captured by the rapture that lacks waves...free floating with grace as I am carried away...hoping for endless rain so my heart would drown.. but my enlarged heart carries me on somehow...I love deep, so deep is my love... corny, romantic, sensitive to the touch...passionate, forgetful just to jog memories... to relive first days, everyday we remeet...so I love deep, deep is how I love...unconditionally stubborn, love that won't budge...so to love me you must love deep...in order not to fall victim in this beautiful shallow sea..
REMEMBER YOU
fighting inner demons, haunted by past trauma...scabs from self inflicted scars and unseen carma... screaming for help, but I am never heard...trying to get the world to see that I forever hurt...murdering who I am, for who I want to be...that means murderous tendency for those who comforts me...Hurt people hurt people, or so they say...is probably why I hurt those who I need and crave... "I'm sorry" I should say, but instead I lash out..I can't get myself off of this unbearable bad route..but I love the attention given to newly created me...even at the expense of everything I use to be?...losing that special thing that made me who I am.. at times I look in the mirror and don't recognize him...he look afraid of who I become, disguised at times..which make me feel judged like when I use to have to hide..so I fight against my old life for the one I think I need..knowing that my new life could care less if I hurt and bleed..if love is pain than this should make them love me..but that is only true if my new life knew me..so its a lose lose if I kill the old me for the new me..especially because I will forever remember who I use to be..
WHEN THEY SEE ME
when they see us, what do they see?... me being me, strong black man on his own two feet... not fleeing me to become what you want to see.... unlocking ideology with no keys, but when they see me... imitating culture that I'm criticized for... passing threshold to enter my unlocked doors...strong hold of hatred, but they secretly love... Admiring my strength and the fact I will not budge... I can't tell you what they see when they see me.... Maybe its a nightmare or a beautiful dream... maybe they're shocked because of what they thought I'll be... But in 2020 they were really able to see..flint water open their eyes, George Floyd made them cry...limited resources, so in the pandemic they watched me die... when they see me, do they think I'm less than?... Am I'm considered a brother, sister, mother, father, best friend?... is my murder justified because I'm considered 3/5th of a whole man.... I can't tell you what they see when they see me, my friend...But what they should see is a strong, intelligent black king... humble in character, and able to do anything... you should be able to see you in me... Perfect definition of what humanity should be…
FIGHTING WHILE BLACK
Fighting while black is hard to do...
stereotypes and stigmas already placed on you...
drug dealer he must be...
robber, home invader, society is lucky...
if the police say he did, than he's guilty...
and this is all before I am judged by a jury...
judge comments that block my defense...
the scales of justice is tipped just a little bit...
they speak of integrity as if they have any...
I don't see it and my views are shared by many...
tough cookie, damn I wish it was fortune...
who knew they were hoarding blacks in such large portions?...
even the guilty are unjustly sentenced...
the same crime, but the time is different...
this is not grey, only black and white...
he gets probation, but they want half my life....
so fighting while black is something hard to do...
but I am gonna fight for my justice rather I win or lose
UNNAMED
interesting, a story that could only be one sided.... told from a point of view of panic and excitement.... excited in their reenactment of delusional events.... seen through clear glasses with the right amount of tent.... I was told that they were told to leave only one witness.... and they have a badge and gun, don't worry about fitness.... in other words, the other world don't speak.... so shoot to kill, and make the fake story real deep.... a code of silence from those who suspect the truth.... innocent, but the suspect is still you.... innocence taken, burying the meek... but first, handcuffed under a thin clothe sheet.... victim blaming is at a all time high....its their fault a cellphone is the reason they died... hands touching the sky, and still a threat..... prominent, split decision is why we can't get them back.... their irrational thinking, unfit and erroneous teaching..... is the reason for untimely death and revenge seeking... retaliation is through spoken word like the gorman girl.... we are the weapons forged in fire to change the world.....sharp with wit, and tick tick.... like a time bomb waiting to blowup their shit.... the places where they hide, plot and plan.... making congressional decision to degrade a human man... to keep me safe is to much like right.... but they rather protect he who kills me in the day light... maybe, just maybe, they'll issue hunting licenses.... since the murders are so blatant and numbers still rising.... if I take this sitting down, I may be next in the ground..... so your fight is my fight, injustice must end now......
UNNAMED
I'm still learning who I am, everyday I meet me.... recreating who I was, while the unredeemable leaves.... no pity but empathy, understanding another's struggle.... restrictive in learned behavior I once knew.... searching for understanding, reaching to connect.... this is more than a promise, I have your back....outrage fills me when I encounter injustices... my soul won't allow me to sit back and do nothing....at times I cry and scream in anger.... for someone others may see as a stranger..... but my heart bleeds and I succumb to pain..... not giving reason to he that won't say their name.... denouncing all hate, while sharing my privilege.... because I know to make change it will take this village... this is not a trend nor a waive Im on.... this is the fabric of who I was being torn.... this is me enlisting to stand on the front line... to give more than a media post, but also my time...my commitment, mind and body for this fight.... for my black and brown counterparts and for what's right....
UNNAMED
when they see us, what do they see?... me being me, strong black man on his own two feet... not fleeing me to become what you want to see.... unlocking ideology with no keys, but when they see me... imitating culture that I'm criticized for... passing threshold to enter my unlocked doors...strong hold of hatred, but they secretly love... Admiring my strength and the fact I will not budge... I can't tell you what they see when they see me.... Maybe its a nightmare or a beautiful dream... maybe they're shocked because of what they thought I'll be... But in 2020 they were really able to see..flint water open their eyes, George Floyd made them cry...limited resources, so in the pandemic they watched me die... when they see me, do they think I'm less than?... Am I'm considered a brother, sister, mother, father, best friend?... is my murder justified because I'm considered 3/5th of a whole man.... I can't tell you what they see when they see me, my friend...But what they should see is a strong, intelligent black king... humble in character, and able to do anything... you should be able to see you in me... Perfect definition of what humanity should be…
UNNAMED
Maybe I need to speak with a shrink... not even a week and they killed another black in the street...this time no hand gun, but a 223... same kind of weapon they use in the army... so I guess they're solidifying the fact that I'm at war...didn't cry in that moment, but it hurts to my core... skin color identify enemies, that's me... hand on the steering wheel, no threat, that's meek.... how much more do I have to humble myself to live.... when I can do everything right and still get killed ...supremacist attacked the institution that throws us under the bus...and them cowards survived, only their precious woman got touched....anger not justified when they're playing war games with my life?.... expendable like lab rats just because I'm not white....right, I'm overreacting but you murdered me... over a misdemeanor charge, you murdered me...degraded me in public, creating imagery for my kids to see... awful YouTube content that will hunt them in their sleep...superiority and hatreds is what consumes you...because integrity and empathy wouldn't allow you to hide truth...soulless you couldn't understand our soul food meal... because you love to see suffering, you don't want us to heal... I want so bad to say I hate you too, find a way to degrade you too.... for your kids to fear a walk to the store, or a late night cruise...but that wouldn't be true, I wouldn't wish what you do to me on you...I guess you got me there, the fact that I care...when I see what you do to me I want to rip out my hair... but I'm strong, I'm a fighter and I have heart... Queen mother told me everything comes to the light that's done in the dark....so I hope that you have sunblock and dark shades...because you can ask chauvin, you have a steep price to pay…
MAN TO MAN
Never been a lying king, to much of a man for that... this lion king is too much a man for cats... I understand the blight of being right against an institution..my intelligence causing anger, disdain and confusion... distorting reality to fit their narrative...just because they said it doesn't make it truly real...the reels of this old motion picture will not end the same...the old white men's club will not end my name...so sitting in your chamber in anger because I'm fighting back...proves that you're not for Justice, but for fighting blacks...your ego has nothing to do with my guilt or innocence... but you attack me, instead of the evidence, in vengeance..lynchings without a tree nor a rope... but my mind and thick neck won't let me chock... forcing me into legal slavery until I'm useless... die of old age or by a cellmate who's ruthless...this is your entertainment, pastime, guilty pleasure... you're lucky the integrity of a man isn't measured...but that is exactly why you're angry now, falling short... do you hate my black skin, strength, bulge in my shorts.... do my intelligence surprise you, or that I'm such a force... it isn't my commanding presence and confidence of course... why would it be with little ol' me under your feet...your thinking, not mines, That's so deep... oaths that's equivalent to the promise of equality...I guess for everyone that isn't 3/5th of a human being...no 20/20 needed in order to see that much... even black blind citizens played pianos and such...I expect more out of God like superior beings... I guess your 3D delusions is Martin Luther kings dreaming…
UNNAMED
though I seem emotionless I hurt too... my mind control my feelings so the hurt don't shine through... calculated in my movement, which kills my reaction... wearing a smile on my face as if it was fashion... my mind has traction on my anger at all times... so my rage running stop signs is a real crime...ticketed, but tickets needed to enter my heart... before thinking to let you in, I'll help the red sea part...sharp in wit to stop from spilling my guts...keeping our interaction superficial with any luck...any touch must convey seasonal attraction... spring blooms, using track shoes courtesy of a blacksmiths...I get mad too, but why give you the pleasure... emotional unstable isn't how I will be measured...I treasure my emotional independence... not just because who are you?, but they are also tremendous...my laughter is Gods sirens at its best... my eye contact will make your heart beat out of your chest... my anger makes kings relinquish their crown... my goofiness will make every crying baby smile...my sincerity will make you think twice before jumping... because life with out you in it really means nothing... my fear is none existing if we're talking about me...God can snatch my soul if He leave my love ones be...so yea, I hurt too but I'm in control of that demon... because my strong mind keep my emotions from prematurely leaving…
UNNAMED
I don't fake my strength, tho most may think I do...I don't get down much, so my happiness is genuine too...anger is carried for mere moments, until I find a disposal spot..fear is compartmentalized in a car parked in a lot...vindictiveness is none existed if I am being truly honest... empathy is shining bright with a extra coat of polish...hatred is a disease that I have had.... but even when justified I still feel bad...I am guilty of being irritable in stressful times... and even being short when I have a lot on my mind...I've never been accused of having any kind of malice...and I am respectful to women, call me old fashion... I am thoughtful in my actions, almost calculated... and normally, all the time, I am really patient.. we all are flawed, and trust me, I am not exempt...but everyday I work on myself, not just make attempts...so who I am is me, with a little extra sauce... I can say that because I been stop being lost..
UNNAMED
if I'm loss in translation let it be... let me see what I wanna see... this delusional state is beautiful to me... it's peaceful in my psychedelic dream... let me float on cloud 9 for all time... in serenity with a glass of wine...let my misunderstanding bring me happiness... running through meddles of flowers in pure bliss...wake me for what reason, honestly... why not let me be ever after happily....your concerns are invalid, every high is not harmful....although this ecstasy is like taking pills by the handful...I still must insist for you to let me be... and I agree that this high is better then the best weed... heroine is less addictive, but needle tracks disgust me...functioning alcoholic would honestly consume less time... and cocaine addiction would have less affect on my mind...daily adrenaline shots would be less harmful to my heart.. but no less dangerous then a par core park...so let me sit in this place I choose to be ...I'll rather my day dreams be filled with happiness if not my reality…
UNNAMED
chains and shackles for your own protection.. only sharing hearts that's charmed on a necklace...there's harm in reflecting on love loss...and no calm in fear, just a heavy cost...ever so gently tossed, as if any better...never knowing a heart could survive any weather...is truly never knowing life, nor living...building and anticipation reaching heights of a celling...let downs that build strength of a gentle giant...unseen damage but worse then any riot..fearing fires that is yet to occur, yet terrified... dodging greatness as if failure is verified...petrified of the maybes and possibilities... instead of being free of all anxieties...your retreat is within where you have treats and more... full of life on the outside but emptiness to your core....shorelines are not the the same as a plunge...and intimacy is more then sex and a touch....dodging love like a boxer's punch...cause hanging heads from those who don't pity much...pretty much, you're missing out on a lot...I just hope one day that your self sabotage stop..
UNNAMED
could you picture a portrait that was beautifully created...than dehumanized, vandalized and degraded...gods creations hunted for sport... judged in the street instead of the court...mentally disturbing the mentally disturbed... American history x with a mouth on the curb...emotionally challenged because that is a weakness... Strong because I have to be, that's my teaching... imagine a bird taking flight being criminalized... penalized for what come natural in their lives...justifying it as unnatural, only God live in the sky... is the same ideology as blond hair and blue eyes... the truth lies, when spoken by closed minds...open minds couldn't even see how a ghost died...toast to the lives that was never celebrated.... because after offending no one, their youthfulness was taken...proof of this is taken, then buried... family history and folktales is how its carried... from their generation to your generation... competing against a generic emancipation...so excuse me if my uniqueness stands out to much... or I don't resemble your ideals enough...I apologize if my strength is to strong... or my crown doesn't match the outline of my throne....so for failing to offend you, so you choose to nitpick....I'm sorry, I guess sensitivity accompanies the wicked....
MAMA'S PAIN
carrying 9 month, laboring for hours... pouring showers touch cores after baby showers... "my baby" echoes through the air, voice filled with joy... "my baby" mixed with tears and pain, another life destroyed...lifetime's storylines ripped straight from the headlines...A mother's cry is a storyline I've known for a lifetime...lifeline shorten in that little hand mama use to hold.... use to be warm and sticky, now just clammy and cold...nooooo with a vicious cry, asking the lord why... sentence her baby to all that time for a drug crime...can't erase from her mind the smirk on faces while she hurts... nieces hug her tighter whenever she wears his t shirts...leaving his lifeline intact to be caged and degraded... even if released his mind and body deteriorated.. created in greatness to be discarded like trash... mama hate losing her baby over the need for a little cash...laboring for hours, pushing that big head out... turning boys to men because of what's outside her house...she wish she could've kept him a kid, she blame herself... trying to protect his family or get cash to help... y'all don't catch that, just judge the thug that still crave mama's hug... pitching 300's and above over mama's love...rehabilitation was never the goal for you empty souls... just new age slavery, with segregation and holes.... mamas knowsssss they want to break that man she raised from a boy... so she stay strong as a example on how not to be destroyed...mama suffer like the loss or enslaved life she gave birth to... please don't sit there and act as if you don't know what you do…
UNNAMED
digg, I'm Reggie, I'm a strong black man...I don't have to recite "I think I can, I think I can"...I was birthed in chaos, being hated...so to me, fear and anxiety is outdated...I walk barefooted on hot coils to accomplish every goal...so my journey is always tough, I suppose... but this is a normal day in the life of a black king...while in war time, sympathy and empathy escape Dean..Reggie holds on to morality,and that's fact.. while my heartless counterparts may think that's whack...I stand on a foundation that could never be broken...no matter my flaws, who I am is awoken.. I dream in black and white for simplicity...because bright lights is not welcomed by real kings...necessary evil supply everyday necessities...while I grapple with undiagnosed PTSD..trauma is everyday life for people like me... I've learned to live with everyday un-comfortability...I struggle with unknown helping hands honestly... because the price could be to high for something that's free..to me, unpaid debts is worse than death.. so I depend on foolish pride when in need of help...I know this thinking is flawed, but its embedded deep...and also, I have never let down or disappointed me...flawed thinking is not justified by past accomplishments... so daily I work on shedding this wartime armor I was birthed with…
UNNAMED
I know love, the beauty and frightfulness... the wrongs that accompanies the righteousness... the fear of broken hearts... the rainbow fish and sharks...drowning while not needing air to breath...wishing that love was not a need...these things have grabbed ahold of me...while I fought viciously to break free...I knew love, breaking hold of eye contact...thinking what is it might I lack...why lie, its a fact that love hurts... like a enemy, wondering who would strick first... tethered to affection, competing with hearts as weapons.. sparks in the dark reveals the marksman...heartless one thinks, but inteations is vintage... hopeless romantic is nothing average....Savage or true nature elude reality...going in separate directions on the same track, actually...running towards each other from each other... at times what you're missing has already been discovered...lover, intimacy is scary when desired... undeniable because of an intense fire.. the best and worse feeling you would ever feel...but that scary soothing pain is how you know that love is real..
UNNAMED
I cry more often then you would think..water fills my eyes before they are covered with a blink...I hold my tongue before I lose my composer..I have gotten better at this as I gotten older...I seek a shoulder to unload on...but for them emotions to unfold I have to be bold...bold print speak my deep thoughts...spilt ink hide all of my faults...sharp is my words if they choose to pierce... but only if another's actions bring me to tears...I don't hate because it take up to much energy... and being vengeful is just not apart of me...I become tired due to all of my feelings..then push them deep down inside until pressure start building...I love deep to substitute all of the negativity.... in other words, everything bad creates positive me..
STAND
unclean hands but yet to practice hygiene, I glean as he glimpse before his actions... dirtying everything that he touch, proud in black as if it was high fashion... taxing on the spirit, lose himself more, day after day...failing to see that integrity and morality didn't only stray, but will never return after going away...boring a hole in his conscious that could never be refilled... a sense of superiority makes him think reality is what he think is real...leaping out from behind black eyes, like a frighten cat, is fear...because a deity he's not, which is seen if questioned, but they wouldn't dare..I think "humble yourself your honor and be Honored, like I am honored that you see me as a threat".... "fighting against me, lying, dirty trickery used as if you have something to protect"..I bet, well my money is on me even as a none betting man....because a man I am even in hole filled shoes, no fashion, lacking authority kicking a can..Hopefully one day with me, no like me, you will stand for something...until than I will accept you for you and the fact that your oath stands for nothing..
UNNAMED
Bury me in the sea where my ancestors jumped, because they knew that death was better than bondage..I wish it was that easy for me, but death is not an option... I fight like my ancestors that crossed state lines for their lives..Who endured humiliation and degradation until it was time to strike....Creative like those who made pig intestines a staple in my community...knowing that the worse conditions could never ruin me...I'm strong like those who took beatings for their loves ones...because my spirit is stronger than my flesh and so is my love...my understanding is clear and my humbleness proceeds me...act accordingly for the time being if need be...but with callous feet, my freedom is a sprint away...like ancestors that dreamed and only whispered about that day...Hard like the hands that built this country for free...picking cotton in bondage until they found their way to leave.. I became stronger when I endured the suffering and pain..proud of my fight, even if its only known by the youth so they will do the same..Thank you to those before me!!!
AMERICA THE GREAT
they tricked me, slide of hand...
my stature made me forget I'm viewed as 3/5 a man...
land i don't suppose to own I purchased, perfect...
but every since birth I was viewed as worthless...
fighting like Malcolm, still to be X...
still last in their minds, when I'm obviously next...
don't get it twisted, even sex played a role...
women shouldn't have dreamed or considered having a goal...
bold, Martin was when he marched, than jailed for moving forward...
cliff edge, is the direction they want us moving towards...
shores covered in black bodies that jumped from the ships...
permanent tattoos etched in by unrelenting whips...
then trapped in bondage, no fifty shades of grey...
I couldn't imagine being asked "boy, what did you say"...
a man before all, I am...
they say god says "I am", so they used him...
they used Bible verses to justify beatings, bondages and slavery..
now they use man-made laws that was created to target me...
but I am black, a man, and strong...
I am him who accepts and doesn't justify his wrongs...I am a fighter, a leader who atones...
I am my ancestors, a king, deserving of my throne..
when America recognize me will it be worth the wait?..
I don't know, but maybe then they'll be America the great…
UNNAMED
omission is a betrayal within itself...
loyalty should be valued more then any wealth...
you disloyal son of a false preacher man...
pause all sin to preach again...
then in the devils den during the weekend...
you don't break your word, just fold and bend...
loyalty is everything if you ask me...
loyalty is anti of what best friends be...
spit handshakes that our parents understand...
oaths given as kids is still valid as man...
God father to your kids, no ring to be kissed...
if I didn't mention my love for you I'll be remiss...
but even that wouldn't jog your memories...
of life and death situations solved by me...
OK love speak to me, I'm with whatever...
I'll leave the sidepiece on the side of the road in bad weather...
mad tethered to the thought of you beyond tonight....
in-house problems stay there, rather wrong or right...
pillow talking to life long til life gone...
until I hear a parrot speak my secrets outside our nice home..
too much to lose to be sleeping with the enemy....
you disloyal, fraudulent, I guess its gone be what it be...
I see, love is a blindness for loyalty...
and its impossible to be loyal without morality...
but I'm wrong when I play chess against my best...
scratch that, I'm right for keeping that knife from out my back...
so my trust issues are physical... I breakout in hives when disloyalty gets critical...
this is just my beliefs and thought process...
if you disagree I am waiting for your redress…
UNNAMED
watching the stars do a dance, never to connect...
has to be beauty and tragedy at it very best..
yet and still, closer then the moon and sun which will never meet...
nor will they ever know each other's heartbeat...
But their preordained destiny is connected in grace...
to work as partners do, in the night and the day...
romance is created under a moon lit sky...
love is discovered during a unintended sun rise...yet the other sleeps when the other one wakes...
just missing each other is such a heartache...
knowing that opposites attract brings them no relief...
Because the cool soothing breeze will never meet the intense heat...
knowing that each other exist is torture within itself... thinking about lost kisses and hands never being held...
normally beautiful tragedies need consoling and a firm shoulder...
But because of the happiness brought separately, this is nothing to cry over...
and because destiny is something that could never be escaped...
their love and connection will forever be their heartache....
UNNAMED
flying seashells, hell I wish...
like I wish it was gloves covering flying fist...
all for sport cohorts deduct...valuing life and new shoes, pretty the same much...
following a hunch, no war plan in this blood soaked sand...
consoling mother, adopting kids, because enemies poach friends...
coasting on common sense and street smarts...
but when thinking is flawed bright lights get dark...
city build new parks to facilitate crime...
mold new wise guys until its their time...
new rhymes depict life at twelve...
"shoot this, kill that, I got the bag as well"...
private online beef cause public grilling...
every few minutes, in my city there's another killing...
school rules, I mean why follow school rules?...
those tools don't teach me to be cool...
lashes out to here, floor length fake hair...
be me for what, switch up, IG don't care...
i.e and so on, until the real you feel alone...
so long to who you are, replaced with a bad clone...
Brag on things that's beneath kings and Queens...
praise thots but used to worship Queen B...
Queens see, but only if it's done easily...
its so easy to go from Queen B to something sleazy...
Both praise an existence that is assisting in our extinctions...
reaching for that and killing yourself, there's no distinction...breaching contracts that one makes with themselves...
I know as a kid you didn't dream of this earthly hell…
UNNAMED
Let's moon light walk picking each other's mind...
or sunrise talk, losing track of time...
let's go out to eat and hardly touch our food...
because we're so into each other, not trying to be rude...
let's text when we can't talk and talk when we can't text...
at the beginning of each date let's start to plan the next...
you put your first and my last name on a pad....
you should see what I do if you think that's bad...
let's hold hands in public and kiss also...
I want the whole world to know that you're awesome...
let's fight yearly, bicker and fuss...
let's make love with extreme passion and lust...
allow me to open your eyes to my world while I experience yours...
because you must know me, and I you, in order to move forward...
lets talk often, and think of each other when we don't...
let our future be scary, but also full of hope...
allow me to hold your hand, kiss you, and show you attention...
but also forgive me on the days that I did not listen...
let your point get across no matter how hard we fight...
because I promise we'll make up by the end of the night...
let the in-laws love me, but you defend me if they don't...
a divided house is the beginning of a slippery slope...
I want to be jealous, but never scared that I'll lose you...
because I am your world and you are mine too...
I'm unable to tell you no because you deserve the world...
and every man to be mad and envy because you're my girl...
I want to be love sick every time we part ways...
because you're my addiction and I need you everyday....
one day I'll find you, and I promise when I do...
I'll be everything perfect that is desired by you..
UNNAMED
I want to be so naked but I over cloth myself...
I try to open up but I seem to always close myself....
"help" I want to scream out, but in no ones presence...
pride may be the death of me because I refuse to learn my lesson...
even if I win every fight I lose, my opponent is me...
then I tell everyone I'm OK, with hopes they do not see...
the bruises are on the inside, so is the pain I feel...
the way I deal some people say that's no way to live...
but how can I ask for help when I'm everyone's rock...
how can I admit I'm feeling low when they put me on top...
that pedestal is cruel, I'll dive off it if I could....
but I'll miss the love I receive, it make me feel good...
don't feel sorry for me, this dilemma is all my own...
because I love all of the love, but also want to be alone...
I guess I'm acting as a brat that can't make up his mind...
but for your sanity and mine, I hope I will in due time...
thanks for letting me vent, you're the only one who understands...
also, I'm sorry for suppressing you to become a different man...
UNNAMED
I know love, genuine, authentic, fraudulent love...
I have been on the giving and receiving end of all kinds of love...
I have used and been used like any drug addict...
the most awful love have came wrapped in a beautiful package..
I have guarded and shielded myself from fake love..
while still opening up because of a pleasant touch....
I have hated who I became because it was not me...
while enjoying every minute of lust and being free...
hurt people hurt people and I have too...
giving genuine love that I knew wasn't true...
I have effortlessly forced love, hoping to ease things....
but no love have gotten me to offer up a ring...
I have looked love in the face and denied it...
because I knew my life and that love wasn't a perfect fit...
love has crushed my heart in 6inch heels...
I loved that love because I knew it was real...
love has taught me that love is not enough...
it has to be love, respect and lust for two to become us…
Romantic
chasing a beautiful sunrise at sunset...
challenging removed seconds as if its a bet...
Reaching for every moment to reimburse missed hours...
stopping the world to smell intriguing flowers...
filling hollowed insides with substance...
when before you may find nothing...
never explaining the intricate me...
because 20/20 vision wouldn't be able to see....
the reaction was planned before the action, to be honest....
wishing for invisibility, I humble myself and be modest...
while also craving attention and praise...
constantly mixing up my nights and my days....
I lick my lips hoping to be kissed...
but close my eyes as if its a unwanted wish....
if love is a true desire of mines...
then why do I treat it like a terrible crime...
traveling roads to no where for no reason...
these feelings escaping me is truly treason....
giving me up as if they hate me....
before I can compose my thoughts and think....
I never felt things were too good to be true....
Then I go out and some how meet you... my confused self still doesn't know what's next....
but I do know you got me screaming out we're the best...
About Mama
"OG" Speak even if they want me to hold my tongue....
stubborn I must be even if they hold the gun...
hold it son, let them see your empty hands..
because they're killing boys in the street, not just men...
I've grown into a conscious mind for the sake of my mom...
because she said to bury me would lessen her life line...
but what I see, I don't like, I must speak....
and this cause me to abandon my nature of humble and meek...
going to war to destroy a rotten core....
to obey my mother my strategy is contour...
telling my mother, for the cause, I am a martyr...
Sincerely she says no, you're a son, brother and father...
trying to make her understand that this fight is part mines...
while she's telling me if I'm harmed her heart dies...
its unlimited what I am willing to risk...
I have to be understood, not speak as if I have a lisp...
she says the loudest voice isn't always the smartest...
plus I could do more if I wasn't their target...
I use to think that she want me to fade in the back....
but she was creating a king that could lead the pack...
so now I sit back and strategize my every move...
while being level headed and keeping my cool...
And I promise you mama, I'm going to change the world...
and I'm going to dedicate it all to my old girl....
UNNAMED
OK its me again, the outcast, black sheep, old friend....
yes I intend to spill my heart with you on the receiving end...
a Godsend you have always been, and an outright blessing...
and its a lot on my mind that have me obsessing...
no, its not legal troubles, OK it might be...
but honestly old friend its not all on me...
I talked to Rita today and it sounds like she's losing hope...
she asked questions that I should have answered yes, but gave a simple nope...
I feel Im losing my grasp on things I should not be holding...
but every time I attempt to release I find myself reaching and grasping...
yes I know, you told me many times to turn them things over...
but I don't feel like myself without that weight on my shoulder...
I understand faith, but this is the ultimate trust fall...
I'm terrified I'll hit the ground like a cue ball....
I understand our relationship depends on faith...
why do the tests have to be this and now, and just can't wait?...
I must sound ridiculous, it’s hard to listen to myself....
OK, let me pray on this, thanks for all the help...
FIGHTING WHILE BLACK
Fighting while black is hard to do...
stereotypes and stigmas already placed on you...
drug dealer he must be...
robber, home invader, society is lucky...
if the police say he did, than he's guilty...
and this is all before I am judged by a jury...
judge comments that block my defense...
the scales of justice is tipped just a little bit...
they speak of integrity as if they have any...
I don't see it and my views are shared by many...
tough cookie, damn I wish it was fortune...
who knew they were hoarding blacks in such large portions?...
even the guilty are unjustly sentenced...
the same crime, but the time is different...
this is not grey, only black and white...
he gets probation, but they want half my life....
so fighting while black is something hard to do...
but I am gonna fight for my justice rather I win or lose
UNTIL NEXT TIME
have you ever craved hand holding more than a kiss...
or a pair of lips to meet yours would be your one and only wish..
has a hug ever felt like life entering you..
simple eye contact seems like something fantastically new...
has the warmth of a loved one's body energized your soul..
making you feel like you can accomplish any task and goal...
has the scent of that person caused your heart to flip..
so you inhale deeper, the high is better than any trip..
have you ever held on tight never wanting to let go...
because doing so would make you feel empty and go cold...
would it break your heart when they leave to go home...
because you crave more time, but they leave you alone...
two hours to visit, I laughed, I loved, I cried...but when you had to go, I died until next time…
UNNAMED
I've always been domineering, knowing what I want...
seeking nothing while me and greatness elopes...
becoming attached is a sin, I pray for forgiveness...
my love is sincere, which also leaves me fearless...
careless in my approach, when I'm poached from life...
it takes greatness to keep me breathing over night...
over hyped is love at first sight, right?...
90 days is needed to see if my heart takes flight...
sometimes it takes rights for wrongs to be noticed....
so closed off didn't know I love being open...
coasting on high, after being stagnant and empty...
a miracle has occurred if you really knew me....
I'll offer my life before my heart, Im sorry...
vulnerability is not me, normally...
I can love without accepting love because I love me....
but letting someone else in than 3's company...
empty me is filled with things that I hide...
its easier for substance to seem benign...
the obstacles I put forth is not for the faint of hearts...
so those that truly love me have this special spark..
so volumes are spoken if my heart is ever questioned...
because those with the same heart know I am a blessing...
IN THE CLOUDS
at times my mind drift off, and I can't catch it...
losing myself in thought with great energy and vibes...
knowing in my normal state I couldn't match it...
so I allow the lost me to drive, while taking the ride...
finding myself in appealing situations, an oasis...
knowing on occasions I deserve a blissful vacation...
drifting above the clouds is my true guilty pleasure....
but the company I keep make it a million folds better...
cold when it's just me, wishing for embers...
while my world seems so petit, and oddly slender..
this state opens up the universes and so much more...
big city attraction with a warm, loving allure...
so sure on this journey, I glide without a care...
direction nor destination need me to be aware...
I close my eyes in a free fall, never to touch the ground...
this drug keeps me high, an addiction so profound...
forgetting all truths, not to say this is a lie...
but reality is that only birds live in the sky...
so I soak in the sun rays as I fly close to it...
drift asleep on soft clouds while they're continuously moving...
I fly north with a flock, only to turn around...
feeling so joyful, the old me is now found...
I cherish the raindrops from above where they fall...
my small world is now feeling so amazingly large...
so thank you, thank you, thank you...
the closed off me is now open to what's true…
UNNAMED
blinder than Justice, not knowing what she look like
traveling the system the wrong way, of course nothing looks right
reasoning, my life, not not being white is my unjust blight
naive me, was my first thought when I first gain sight
right, wrongdoings of my past don't justify today's lynching
accomplished your task if Justice wasn't the mission
vengeance is mines said he who you swear upon
judges kill us as much white supremacist and their guns
Fighting to be heard, when that's my constitutional right
learning their rules, just for them to change overnight
waiting patiently in chaos, losing and trying to buy time
while they create new games just to play with our lives
in this journey I am on, psalms songs couldn't prepare
the insight wouldn't have came to light if I wasn't here
bloodshed wouldn't be believed if I didn't see
I would still be oblivious to unjust Justice if it wasn't me
my day to day wouldn't pave way for tomorrow's change
if I didn't suffer the indignity of their tightly wrapped chains
I'm telling you right now, you only think you know the truth
I was birthed into this and some stuff I never knew
so judge justly when you see me because easily this could be you
when a mistake or a circumstance can change everything you knew